At Santa Paula Theater Center, we value the health and safety of our patrons, staff, and performers and will be following CDC, State, County, and other governmental agencies COVID-19 pandemic current mandates, recommendations, and public health guidelines and requirements. Cast will be required to provide vaccination and booster confirmation. The wearing of masks during rehearsals and/or periodic COVID testing throughout the run of the show may be required. You must follow all posted instructions while visiting Santa Paula Theater Center. Due to the ever-changing circumstances surrounding COVID-19, these event requirements are subject to change.
AUDITIONS FOR
POTUS
AT
SANTA PAULA THEATER CENTER!
Sunday, Dec 8th, 11 AM - 1 PM and Monday, Dec 9th 7 PM - 9 PM, callbacks Tuesday, Dec 10th, 7 PM - 9 PM at SPTC, 125 S. 7th St. Santa Paula CA, 93060 POTUS: or, Behind Every Great Dumba$$ Are Seven Women Trying to Keep Him Alive
By Selina Fillinger, Directed by Jessi May Stevenson An uproarious Broadway debut by playwright Selina Fillinger, a riotous comedy about the women in charge of the man in charge of the free world “Gleefully filthy.” – The New
York Times
(THIS PLAY IS RATED ‘R’)
Trigger Warning: There is physical violence, physical intimacy, lots of swearing, crass language, vomiting, some drug use, stage blood, and basically loads of super-rated R content. All in a typical day at the White House.
Note from the Director:
This is not, and will not be a play about hysterical women screaming. This play is not about how many times we can say F$@K. Each woman has their own journey, tempo, and cadence. And, there are no secondary characters. This is a farce. It is physical, and it is NOT for the faint of heart.
PERFORMANCE DATES
Feb 7th - March 9th, 2025.
What to bring to auditions
● Your current resume
● A current headshot
● A prepared monologue from the options provided (See below)
Characters - In order of emotional proximity to POTUS (closest to furthest)
HARRIET - His chief of staff. (written to smoke in one scene, with a mannish haircut, handles a handgun, gives Right
Hand to Trump Energy) JEAN - His press secretary. (wears heels and a turtleneck, Gives FML Energy)
STEPHANIE - His secretary. (mousy and unconfident, written to spend several scenes in unflattering underwear,
Gives Neurotic Energy) DUSTY - His dalliance. (the only character in their 20’s-early 30’s, wears underwear or some sort of scantily clad outfit in a few scenes, dances, gives Bad Barbie)
BERNADETTE - His sister. (looks like the President, a charismatic felon, Masculine Lesbian Energy, smokes)
CHRIS - A journalist. (BLACK, wears breast pumps and actively pumps during the show, Single Mom Energy)
MARGARET - His wife. The First Lady. (BLACK, Considers herself living example of Black Excellence, gives Ivy League
Education Energy, handles a gun)
Director Bio: Jessi May Stevenson has been the Artisitic Director of the Santa Paula Theater Center for the past 3 years. She received her Masters of Fine Arts in Theater from UC Irvine where she was the recipient of the Chancellor's Full Ride Scholarship Award. She also studied at Harvard University with the Moscow Art Theater and at The American Repertory Theater in Boston. She is a guest instructor and director for The Muse of Fire-Teen Acting Conservatory in Ojai and has taught Acting out with Shakespeare at Ojai Valley Schools. For the last 8 years at SPTC, she has been a main stage director, and in 2020 founded the SPTC Acting Conservatory and became the teen acting instructor. The one woman show and short film starring Jessi May, Isn’t That Just My Life, has been accepted into 33 festivals and garnered her 12 Best Actress Awards, one Silver Medal Acting Award, and a nominee for Best Original Idea. She was the assistant director the feature film, Time Capsule, while also playing the role of Candy. It has won numerous awards, including Best Picture at the Dallas Movie Awards Festival.
MONOLOGUES:
Harriet:
Literally, I’ve bullied 200 feminists into attending tonight’s gala and written thirty-seven drafts of POTUS’s speech so that our female base doesn’t literally shrink smaller than a nutsack in the snow! It’s the final hour, we’re headed into reelection: FML! The point is he’s booked, Jean! He’s fucking booked, so they had to reschedule the procedure
which is why Margaret entered the meeting late. She was talking to Dr. Rifson and she entered the meeting late and POTUS didn’t see her - bing, bang, boom: “cunty.” ….He’s pissed at the First Lady because she’s insisting on surgery. His friend Jerry, from college, said he had the same thing and that it just went away without surgery. He said to rub tea tree oil on it. Jerry told him it can happen sometimes from ass play. (In response to Jeans stunned silence.) Ass play….. When it’s rough…. Ass play…. When it’s rough, ass-play.
Jean:
POTUS has spent 3 years burning EVERY BRIDGE, insulting EVERY ALLY, and finger-banging EVERY DIPLOMAT's WIFE around the world! I mean hey, it’s ALMOST as if America doesn’t have an endless line of moral credit - I mean who would have THUNK there is a limit to how much ethical currency could just THROW AWAY before every other nation finally chaps back, “YA BROKE, BITCH” (In response to Harriet saying “If you want to know…”) WANT to know? I don’t WANT to know. In the last three years, I’ve had to bail on seven first dates and my sister’s mastectomy just to spin shit I don’t WANT TO KNOW. And right now I’m trying to figure out if my biggest problem today will be explaining why the President of the United States used the word “cunty“ to describe his wife to three diplomats – OR if there is still something MORE awful involving ASS PLAY that I need to know about! IS there, Harriet? Is this day about to become an oozing pustule on the anus of my week? Or is everything fine?
Margaret:
Apparently these days it’s not enough to be wildly accomplished and deeply effective… I’ve launched free lunch programs in 6,000 public schools but all Twitter can twat about are the stilettos I wore to one homeless shelter…
(Stephanie: Is that why you are wearing) What do you think, Stephanie? You think this was my idea? You think when I gave my speech as Valedictorian I said, “One day I will walk the halls of the White House in shoes that can double as
flotation devices?” No! But there are children to feed, funds to raise, and Time Magazine is interviewing me today for their Women of Excellence series so I will not allow anything to distract me from my work - ( going for the door again ) ...
least of all…
Bernadette:
SURPRISE! Jeanie, baby, how are you! What’s happening? Fuck, what a dump. You gotta start hiring hotter interns - all your staff look like sweaty Beanie Babies. (aggressively to a passing intern.) YOU: coffee. Seven sugars, dash of
triple sec…. My brother pulled some strings with the warden and judge so I could get out today, and so long as he makes it official in the next 24 hours, they cut this ankle shit off and then it’s free Bernie Howling at the moon all night
every night Ow OWWWWWWWW…. Prison changed me. I’m looking for commitment and intimacy, a second chance at life and love. I mean think of what the pardon means for us. I’m a new woman, Jean: clean as a whistle, straight as an edge. So you can strip me down and turn me inside out, but all you're going to find is pure, fine fresh Bernie.
Chris:
We need a PLAN. Dusty can deep-throat her way through the White House, but that won’t change the fact that WE MURDERED THE PRESIDENT. (In response to Jean saying- “You mean YOU murdered the President.”) DON’T. YOU. DARE.
If he was doing his job he would be across the White House right now making peace treaties! Why was he even here? He should not have walked in this room, he should not be living in this house, he should not be running this nation, and
YOU KNOW IT! He’s the pyromaniac, but you gave him kindling, you gave him matches, you figured he’d burn his fingers and learn his lesson - Well he DIDN’T, and now the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD IS ON FIRE! So we will douse those
flames, or we will burn in them together, but don’t think for one second I am marching to that stake by myself!
Stephanie:
Ma’am - Margaret - Margie - I am the Presidential Secretary and nobody enters that door without my say so! (She hits a wide stance, arms above her head in a V, hands clenched into fists.) Harriett gave me a book about women taking up
space and I’ve read it twice! I am powerstancing, I am decreasing my cortisol levels and increasing my testosterone, thus increasing my confidence! ….I understand that you are upset, Ma’am, Margaret, Margie. But this is not coming
from me, it’s coming from POTUS, or, rather, Harriet, and I’m afraid it’s a non-negotiable - I hear you, but you… (Stephanie snaps. Power stance.) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH. DONT TEST ME I AM GOOD AT MY JOB.
Dusty:
(a rap with sexy choreography)
HEY THERE, FRIEND WHAT’D YOU SAY?
YOU SAY YOU’RE HAVING A REAL BAD DAY?
LET’S SIT DOWN AND CHAT AWHILE
WE’LL FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SMILE
‘CAUSE CONFLICT CAN BE HEALTHY
CONFLICT CAN BE TRUE
CONFLICT CAN BRING ME CLOSER TO YOU
SO LET’S COGITATE AND ARTICULATE
DON’T MONOLOGUE, LET’S DIALOG
BUT IN ORDER TO GROW,
FIRST WE MUST LISTEN
AND IN ORDER TO LISTEN
FIRST WE MUST HUSH
FIRST WE MUST HUSH
FIRST WE MUST HUSHHHH
By Selina Fillinger, Directed by Jessi May Stevenson An uproarious Broadway debut by playwright Selina Fillinger, a riotous comedy about the women in charge of the man in charge of the free world “Gleefully filthy.” – The New
York Times
(THIS PLAY IS RATED ‘R’)
Trigger Warning: There is physical violence, physical intimacy, lots of swearing, crass language, vomiting, some drug use, stage blood, and basically loads of super-rated R content. All in a typical day at the White House.
Note from the Director:
This is not, and will not be a play about hysterical women screaming. This play is not about how many times we can say F$@K. Each woman has their own journey, tempo, and cadence. And, there are no secondary characters. This is a farce. It is physical, and it is NOT for the faint of heart.
PERFORMANCE DATES
Feb 7th - March 9th, 2025.
What to bring to auditions
● Your current resume
● A current headshot
● A prepared monologue from the options provided (See below)
Characters - In order of emotional proximity to POTUS (closest to furthest)
HARRIET - His chief of staff. (written to smoke in one scene, with a mannish haircut, handles a handgun, gives Right
Hand to Trump Energy) JEAN - His press secretary. (wears heels and a turtleneck, Gives FML Energy)
STEPHANIE - His secretary. (mousy and unconfident, written to spend several scenes in unflattering underwear,
Gives Neurotic Energy) DUSTY - His dalliance. (the only character in their 20’s-early 30’s, wears underwear or some sort of scantily clad outfit in a few scenes, dances, gives Bad Barbie)
BERNADETTE - His sister. (looks like the President, a charismatic felon, Masculine Lesbian Energy, smokes)
CHRIS - A journalist. (BLACK, wears breast pumps and actively pumps during the show, Single Mom Energy)
MARGARET - His wife. The First Lady. (BLACK, Considers herself living example of Black Excellence, gives Ivy League
Education Energy, handles a gun)
Director Bio: Jessi May Stevenson has been the Artisitic Director of the Santa Paula Theater Center for the past 3 years. She received her Masters of Fine Arts in Theater from UC Irvine where she was the recipient of the Chancellor's Full Ride Scholarship Award. She also studied at Harvard University with the Moscow Art Theater and at The American Repertory Theater in Boston. She is a guest instructor and director for The Muse of Fire-Teen Acting Conservatory in Ojai and has taught Acting out with Shakespeare at Ojai Valley Schools. For the last 8 years at SPTC, she has been a main stage director, and in 2020 founded the SPTC Acting Conservatory and became the teen acting instructor. The one woman show and short film starring Jessi May, Isn’t That Just My Life, has been accepted into 33 festivals and garnered her 12 Best Actress Awards, one Silver Medal Acting Award, and a nominee for Best Original Idea. She was the assistant director the feature film, Time Capsule, while also playing the role of Candy. It has won numerous awards, including Best Picture at the Dallas Movie Awards Festival.
MONOLOGUES:
Harriet:
Literally, I’ve bullied 200 feminists into attending tonight’s gala and written thirty-seven drafts of POTUS’s speech so that our female base doesn’t literally shrink smaller than a nutsack in the snow! It’s the final hour, we’re headed into reelection: FML! The point is he’s booked, Jean! He’s fucking booked, so they had to reschedule the procedure
which is why Margaret entered the meeting late. She was talking to Dr. Rifson and she entered the meeting late and POTUS didn’t see her - bing, bang, boom: “cunty.” ….He’s pissed at the First Lady because she’s insisting on surgery. His friend Jerry, from college, said he had the same thing and that it just went away without surgery. He said to rub tea tree oil on it. Jerry told him it can happen sometimes from ass play. (In response to Jeans stunned silence.) Ass play….. When it’s rough…. Ass play…. When it’s rough, ass-play.
Jean:
POTUS has spent 3 years burning EVERY BRIDGE, insulting EVERY ALLY, and finger-banging EVERY DIPLOMAT's WIFE around the world! I mean hey, it’s ALMOST as if America doesn’t have an endless line of moral credit - I mean who would have THUNK there is a limit to how much ethical currency could just THROW AWAY before every other nation finally chaps back, “YA BROKE, BITCH” (In response to Harriet saying “If you want to know…”) WANT to know? I don’t WANT to know. In the last three years, I’ve had to bail on seven first dates and my sister’s mastectomy just to spin shit I don’t WANT TO KNOW. And right now I’m trying to figure out if my biggest problem today will be explaining why the President of the United States used the word “cunty“ to describe his wife to three diplomats – OR if there is still something MORE awful involving ASS PLAY that I need to know about! IS there, Harriet? Is this day about to become an oozing pustule on the anus of my week? Or is everything fine?
Margaret:
Apparently these days it’s not enough to be wildly accomplished and deeply effective… I’ve launched free lunch programs in 6,000 public schools but all Twitter can twat about are the stilettos I wore to one homeless shelter…
(Stephanie: Is that why you are wearing) What do you think, Stephanie? You think this was my idea? You think when I gave my speech as Valedictorian I said, “One day I will walk the halls of the White House in shoes that can double as
flotation devices?” No! But there are children to feed, funds to raise, and Time Magazine is interviewing me today for their Women of Excellence series so I will not allow anything to distract me from my work - ( going for the door again ) ...
least of all…
Bernadette:
SURPRISE! Jeanie, baby, how are you! What’s happening? Fuck, what a dump. You gotta start hiring hotter interns - all your staff look like sweaty Beanie Babies. (aggressively to a passing intern.) YOU: coffee. Seven sugars, dash of
triple sec…. My brother pulled some strings with the warden and judge so I could get out today, and so long as he makes it official in the next 24 hours, they cut this ankle shit off and then it’s free Bernie Howling at the moon all night
every night Ow OWWWWWWWW…. Prison changed me. I’m looking for commitment and intimacy, a second chance at life and love. I mean think of what the pardon means for us. I’m a new woman, Jean: clean as a whistle, straight as an edge. So you can strip me down and turn me inside out, but all you're going to find is pure, fine fresh Bernie.
Chris:
We need a PLAN. Dusty can deep-throat her way through the White House, but that won’t change the fact that WE MURDERED THE PRESIDENT. (In response to Jean saying- “You mean YOU murdered the President.”) DON’T. YOU. DARE.
If he was doing his job he would be across the White House right now making peace treaties! Why was he even here? He should not have walked in this room, he should not be living in this house, he should not be running this nation, and
YOU KNOW IT! He’s the pyromaniac, but you gave him kindling, you gave him matches, you figured he’d burn his fingers and learn his lesson - Well he DIDN’T, and now the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD IS ON FIRE! So we will douse those
flames, or we will burn in them together, but don’t think for one second I am marching to that stake by myself!
Stephanie:
Ma’am - Margaret - Margie - I am the Presidential Secretary and nobody enters that door without my say so! (She hits a wide stance, arms above her head in a V, hands clenched into fists.) Harriett gave me a book about women taking up
space and I’ve read it twice! I am powerstancing, I am decreasing my cortisol levels and increasing my testosterone, thus increasing my confidence! ….I understand that you are upset, Ma’am, Margaret, Margie. But this is not coming
from me, it’s coming from POTUS, or, rather, Harriet, and I’m afraid it’s a non-negotiable - I hear you, but you… (Stephanie snaps. Power stance.) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH. DONT TEST ME I AM GOOD AT MY JOB.
Dusty:
(a rap with sexy choreography)
HEY THERE, FRIEND WHAT’D YOU SAY?
YOU SAY YOU’RE HAVING A REAL BAD DAY?
LET’S SIT DOWN AND CHAT AWHILE
WE’LL FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SMILE
‘CAUSE CONFLICT CAN BE HEALTHY
CONFLICT CAN BE TRUE
CONFLICT CAN BRING ME CLOSER TO YOU
SO LET’S COGITATE AND ARTICULATE
DON’T MONOLOGUE, LET’S DIALOG
BUT IN ORDER TO GROW,
FIRST WE MUST LISTEN
AND IN ORDER TO LISTEN
FIRST WE MUST HUSH
FIRST WE MUST HUSH
FIRST WE MUST HUSHHHH